The most effective writing demands both clarity of the subject and avoidance of extra words, in which the above two consideration help.
Clues that you need to revise INTO the Active Voice:
- Watch for use of the "to be" + second verb construction: is verb, was verb, has been verb, will be verb
- Watch for the preposition (by, at, on, in) that follows the double-verb construction: is verb by, will be verb on
- The missing or hidden subject -- also know as the object coming first. Not all nouns are subjects. The noun is the subject of a sentence when the noun is performing the verb (Jerry told..., The dog bit...). Objects are nouns in a sentence that are being performed upon by the subject-noun. Rule of thumb: if noun performing the action in your sentence comes AFTER the verb, then you are writing in passive voice and need to revise.
- To practice: click on this link and we will work on turning passive voice into active voice.
Make the most of your language. Here are some strategies to help your conciseness:
- Word choice: one word over a vague phrase, or look to replace longer phrases with one word that means the same thing (did not do well=failed; not at all good-looking=ugly)
- Redundancies: look for words or phrases that are saying the same thing in the same sentence, and stick with the more effective word/phrase (We were really strong and dominating=We dominated!)
- Look for sentences that you can combine information (The dog barked. The dog was blue. The dog heard footsteps= The blue dog barked when it heard footsteps.)
- Eliminate Words/Details that do not harm meaning, and that might be obvious or have little relevance to purpose of writing (see examples on OWL!)
- To Practice Conciseness, lets go to the OWL exercises and re-write the wordy sentences.
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